Strip club etiquette

This is just a random comments on strip clubs. It's been a while since I was in a strip club, but the thing to do is that whenever a girl approaches you, you have to tip her. I didn't mind tipping them when I'm by them and they're putting on their show. What I really hate is when they put their clothes back on and they walk around collecting money. Sometimes I ended up tipping them twice, once while she's performing and the second time when they do the walk-aromatic.

There is a way to avoid the second tipping. Maybe I'm the only cheap person that did this but when they were doing the walk-around and approached my table, I would get up and either go to the bathroom or got up to go to the bar. The worst was when a ugly ass girl approaches, you don't have a chance to leave and end up tipping an ugly ass girl. I always got joy when I would get up and leave, and leave my buddy behind stuck with tipping the ugly dancer.

I've been to a few strip clubs where there was full nudity. The first time I went to one of these I was 18, so naturally I wanted a lap dance. I pay the money and when the girl starts her routine she dances for a bit, takes the top off and keeps on dancing. I'm thinking "the song is almost over and her panties are still on." Much to my detriment I came to find out that even in full nudity strip clubs, they don't do lapdances fully nude. That may not be the case everywhere, but all the places in the surrounding area were like that.

I was at another strip club and was in the dance area when the girl was doing some moves, much to my enjoyment. I, like a gentleman, put the dollar in my mouth so she can get it with whatever part of her body she likes (except her hands). She gets really close and starts the heavy breathing to "turn me on" (you know what I mean, right Homer?). She then does something unexpected, she sticks her tongue in my ear and licks it real good and proceeds to the other side and does the same. I hadn't notice her doing that to the other guys there so I'm thinking "damn maybe she actually likes me and maybe I can hook up with a stripper, how cool would that be" (shut up, I was 18 and horny, I can hope can't I?) Just as I'm thinking that I look to my left and she's doing the same to the guy and then that's when it hits me.
1. She's done this to tons of guys and who knows where in the list I am, it's almost like getting dirty seconds, or 5ths for that matter.
2. How much ear wax had she swallowed that night.
3. What does her mouth taste like (I don't want to know)
4. If she has a boyfriend, does he know she does this and does he care that he has other guy's earwax in her mouth?

Finally, does it hurt when they jump on the pole hang on with their legs and slide down? You don't see firemen sliding down the pole in shorts, plus I had a friend that was a fireman and he said he did that once and hurt like hell. I know strippers don't slide down fast or a long way, but it would seem like it would hurt nonetheless.